#12 Dynamica Metaversica Part III of IV

[Abraham]

#12 Dynamica Metaversica Part III of IV

(in KHS in the gym)

*crack of thunder and rain beating down*

KI:Yay. No going outside for Gym today

Kagura: What's wrong? You don't like Gym class?

KI: Gym class sucks

Kagura: Surprising that you'd say that when you're as good as me or Sakaki. You'd make a good addition to any of the sports teams

KI: Hahahaha. No.

Kagura: Why not?

KI: Firstly, high school athletics has no bearing on whether or not you get into college or later uni and secondly I don't like the idea of wasting after school or on the weekends for practices and thirdly going to games would take up too much time.

ST: Gym suxxorz

ZD: Except for swimming. Two words: Bikinis.

Kimura: I agree!

ZD, KI, ST and Kagura: ...

Kimura: What?

Kagura: What are YOU doing here? Don't you have a class to teach?

Kimura; I gave them a studyhall

KI: How is he not in prison yet?

Kimura: Teacher's union

KI: ... *facepalm*

(some time later in the cafeteria)

Raven: Our homeroom is weird now

ST: What do you mean?

Raven: When this year started we had 2 redheads in the class and now we have 6

ST: I know. What's with us having a good chunk of the school's redheads?

Raven: random chance

JH: WHy do you guys talk about it like its' a bad thing? I for one like redheads.

ST: Some of us have good aste Hersch. Do try to consider that.

JH: *rolls eyes* Well what do YOU like?

ST: Blue or green hair or black hair. Asian or mixed.

JH: ...

ST: What?

JH: ... *facepalm* i thought you were better than that and didn't care.

ST: Actually I don't care. They're just not my preferences. It's your life

JH: Ok. At least you're not Like Keira whose racist against white people

ST: Keira isn't racist against white people she just doesn't like you.

KI: Yep

(outside of a classroom)

Silas: YOU WHORE! YOU COPIED MY HOMEWORK!

Kelsey: Huh? Wha'ts going on/

Silas:What the FUCK Kelsey?! I can't find my fucking homework

ZD: ... *facepalm*

Silas:WHAT is this SHIT you stupid CRacka ho

Kelsey: CRACKA?! YOU SAID I COULD LOK AT YOUR HOMEWORK

Student: Guys look Kelsey

ST: Yeah what the fuck is this shit?

KI: Failure

Silas: You fucking whore! First cvheaitngo n me and now tihs!? I-I don't knwo what to do

*Silas and Kelsey Bow*

ZD, Raven, ST and KI: ...

ST: What the fuck is this shit?

ZD: Yeah seriously. If you do it again you're fucked

Raven: I will kick your black ass back to Zulevena if you do that shit again. I haven't had a good day and I don't want to deal with it

ST: Shouldn't he be picking cotton?

KI: His brain is not capable of mastering the complex science of picking cotton so he got dumped into our educational system, Straha-san.

Silas: Yo chink what the fuck did you just say?

KI: I just said you were not capable of mastering picking cotton. Also I'm Japanese not chinese.

Silas: Ima gonna kick yo ass

KI: Bad move

Silas: FUCK YOU!

KI: You don't realize that this is Miss. Yukari's Last Period english class right?

Silas: I don't give a fuck

KI: ...most of the people in it arev in my group of friends

*sounds of multiple knuckles cracking*

Silas: Bring it on freaks. Half of y'all are freaks with pointy ears and  even those of y'all who aren't are all homos or white devils

LK: Shut your hole nigger

KU: Kurdt-san! No racism

LK: Shut up chink I'm disciplining this nigger *takes out a cane and starts hitting Silas with it* Good you heeled.

ST: Normally I'd be bitching

KI: Kurdt does something funny for once

*Silas grabs Kurdt's cane and breaks it over his head*

LK: Aww shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Silas: You and me right here right now

KI: What the heck? I've got some time to kill. Sure

Raven: Fight fight fight Fight

Kaorin: Wow. Keira is sure taking extreme risks.

*smack*

KI: Hitting me was... annoying and now it's time for me to return the favor...

*SMACK*

Silas: Ow. Whart the fuck bitch are you on steroids?

KI: No. I'm normally like this. *cracks knuckles*

*Keira picks up a desk which was in the hallway and tosses it at Silas*

Silas: Aw shit thay hurt

Kelsey: That was mean! We were just doing a drama presentation

KI: Really? Consider my part the second act then. *smirks*

Kelsey: Are you okay Silas?

Silas: Yeah. I juust have some bruises I'm just stunned at how fast she did it

KI: Good you heeled.

Neo-Noblist: Good job showing the negro animal what it's like to obey his superiors. Next time he does that I'll gut him like a fish *gives the noble salute*

KI: err... is this one of your friends Raven-san?

Raven: No. he's some guy who sit's in the back of class

KI: And he hasn't gotten his ass kicked for dressing in a Night Watch uniform AND having a fu manchu/St. Anasbury mustasche because?

Neo-Noblist: I carry a truncheon and I also bring a knife every day.

(in downtown Kansai City at night)

LD: Zhon. Why the fuck are we here?

CG: God frodo why do you have to fail so much

FR: Ye'll see laddies. Indulge me

LD: Frodo, the last time I did that I got some scars with took 50 years to heal.

FR: How was ah supposed tae know that they turned people into biological goo? Ah dinna know until the dust "tentacles" got us

LD: ... *punches Frodo*

CG: Why the fuck are we in the central square and why didn;t I bring any of my crowd control weapons and on a thursday night when it's full of college nd high school students starting the weekend? TEATS

LD: Because Frodo is a little bitch and I'm thinking I'm going to set him on fire and throw him like a grenade

CG: That would be cool *lights joint*

FR: Ah good! There it is!

LD: Where WHAT is

FR: Th' Xanatos Gambit

LD: What the FUCK is that? is it a gay club

FR: No

LD: ??!?!?!?!

CG: ORANGES

(inside a seedy looking bar)

FR: Hey Ah brought th' two people you wanted

Bartender: good, good

LD: If you're trying to sell our organs again remember that both of us are bigger than you

CG: Having your organs ripped out like hurts

FR: It's nae about that! Ah Swear

CG: didn't he say that the one time he tried getting us to go to the organ-leggers den? TEATS

LD: "*takes out gun* yes

Bartender: No. This has nothing to do with organs. We're needing to deal with an.. obnoxious fraternity who makes this bar their de facto home on thursday and friday nights

LD: Keep in mind both of us are rich an have guns

Bartender: *is polishing a glass* I have no ethnical objections to seeing mass scale carnage plus free booze and drugs

LD: Which frat?

Bartender; Kappa Kappa Kappa

LD: Ah the ones who have their frat house on my street. Sure. *loads gun*

FR: Remember when they shit all over Lugia's car?

CG: Yeah. I wonder how much money the frat ogt from the insurance company after Lugia firebombed their house

LD: Zero

CG: whoa?! How do you know?! TEATS

LD: Their insurance company is a subsidiary of Imperitek. *sips drink* So Bartender.. what's the plan?

Bartender: Shoot any who do something stupid. If you run out of ammo go to Gerry's for some

LD: Gerry's?

Bartender: A gun shop next door to the bar.

LD: Never heard of it

Bartender: Not just guns. All sorts of weapons. If it kills people you can find it there.

LD: Oh really...

Bartender: One last note... we do have some regulars who do act stupid but due to them bringing in money I don't want you shooting

LD: Ok. Shoot.

Bartender: The first is Farva. He's a male of the race who dresses in tight 'twinkish' clothes, likes to gyrate, uses ginger and will have sex with alot of different thingd. So dont' shoot him. He drinks/smokes enough to be a good chunk of the profits

LD: anyone else?

Bartender: Yes. If a 500 pound parrot walks in... let it in. It's McGrobbles

LD: *rolls eyes* right...

(time passes)

CG: *smokes spliff* No faggotry! TEATS

LD: Indeed. Free booze and drugs just for keeping our eyes open and our ammo ready

Frat Brother: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!

LD: What the zhon?

Frat Brother: KEGGER

LD: ...

*several dozen fraternity brothers and their associated sorority sisters come in*

LD: Frodo

FR: Whut?

LD: Go to Gerry's store and get a shitload of ammo. We're gonna need it.

FR: Why me?

LD: My firepower more than equals you and Cow Guy combined so it wouldn't be smart to have me go.

FR: Curse ye and your logic *runs off*

*a fraternity brother pukes all over Lugia*

Frat Brother: L ike WHOAAAAA! Tubthumpin

LD: What the FUCK? Do you know who I am

Frat Brother: Yeah some lizard now shut up before I have to get my bros and beat your scaly ass

LD: Now you've stepped in it *reaches into his jacket and takes out a device looking like a staple gun* Do you knwo what this is?

Frat Brother: A faggot toy for faggoAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LD: Wrong. This is called a pain-stapler

Frat Brother #2: What'd the FUCK did you just do my brothers?

LD: Kill him by overloading his nervous system

Frat Brother #2: Imma gonna kick your ass *picks up a bar stool and starts hitting Lugia with it*

CG: *is smoking a bowl* Ahahahaha oh wow

*Lugia grabs the bar stool and uses it to smash the second frat brother's head, even snapping bone*

Sorority sister: Hey! That's not cool! Leae my boyfriend alone

LD: Fuck you.

CG: Sorority girls! Vectors for STDS! TEATS

Sorority Sister: WHAT did you just say

CG: Enjoy your AIDS! TEA-*is slapped*

Sorority Sister: That's a very offensive and misogynist thing to say

CG: CITRUS

*Frodo dirves into the bar on a forklift with MANY weapons and ammo*

FR: Ah'm back

LD: Good!

CG: Happy happy fun time! *takes a pair of chainsaws*

Sorority sister: Why do you endorse violence against women?

LD: Because it's funny. *shoots the sorority sister in the head*

*suddenly thumping latin house music beings to play*

LD: What the fuck is this shit/

Sorority Sister #2: OMG where'd the pop music go

Farva: *walks in and then starts gyrating* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERES FARVA!

Sorority Sister #2: Eew... like where'd Maureen go?

Farva: Holy freaking crap there's a barfight?! *picks up a barstool and smashes it over the head of a frat brother*

Frat Brother: Lol. Nigge-*SMASH*

Farva: Remember kids jews are homofascists! *goes on the pole and starts poledancing*

LD: ... *facepalm*

Frat Brother #3: *punches Farva* Bitch get the fuck out of he-*CHOMP* Aw fuck he bit me! He bit meee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW! *kicks Farva*

LD: What the fuck do we do about the newest person?

Bartender: That's just Farva. He's okay and he'll annoy the frat and sorority people till they leave

Farva: Who wants a ride on the Farva Man-torpedo

FR: Aye

LD: ... *facepalm*