#18 Dazed, Confused and Stoned part 3 of 3

[Abraham]

#18 Dazed, Confused and Stoned part 3 of 3

(in front of the philosophy hall)

*SMASH*

Kit: *winces in pain* Now c'mon can't we solve this with some gay sex?

LD: ... *is holding a giant hammer*

Fellatio Nelson: Kit we have a problem

Kit: What?

Fellatio Nelson: That's the mach ha-*is suddenly smashed RAPIDLY* oof

Kit: What's so improtant oh my god I didn't think someone holding a hammer can go what fast

Fellatio Nelson: He can't jump or fly with it.

Floid: *levitates* So we're fine if we fly?

Kit: Yep

(in the air above the stadium)

Fellatio Nelson: Haha That's an ironic reversal of fortune

"Oh fuck! "Nae! Nae LUGHIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "TEATS"

Kit: Why?

Fellatio Nelson: The mach hammer will home in on ANY moving target it can get

Kit: So he'll hammer his own team? Good show

(on the ground)

FR: Ow fock that hurts

GB: Shitshitshit

CG: Wait... *smokes another bowl*

GB: How can you smoke at a time like this?!

JG: Yeah really

CG: WHEEE! *starts dancing*

GB: What the fuck

CG: REVERSAL OF FORTUNE

*suddenly a green flash*

(in the air)

GB: Sweet. We managed to fly

FR: Aye

CG: ORANGES

(on the ground)

Kit: oh shit

*sound of hammer smashing*

LD: --Yrs! I have now gotten one with the hammer-- Hammer

Flocclencio: FUCK! Thsat focking hurtds! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

LD: Smashed... *is still smashing*

Floid: I hate reversals of fortune that go like thAAAAAAARGH

Kit: This is like a bad cartoon.

Fellatio Nelson: Not true. If this was a cartoon we'd be winning since we're good and superheroes always win

Kit: Oh right. *dodges a hammer*

LD: FACE *spins aroudn RAPIDLY, creating a hammer tornado then launches the hammer into orbit*

Kit: FUCK That hurt

Floid: ow... I felt like I got hit by a train

*the hammer falls out of orbit, hitting the sports hall of Illuminatus state and leaving a crater*

LD: Accio hammer *the hammer flies to him and returns to his weapons container* How'd you like that?

Kit: Don't do that again

Floid: F----------------------------- Would not do again if I had a choice

LD: Fuck off bitches

*Flocculencio throws Lugia so hard he leaves a crater*

Flocculencio: *brushes dust off of himself* Have you ever tried civility?

LD: *jumps out of the crater and takes out a knife* FUCK YOU!

Flocculencio: Isn't life to short for violence?

LD: Maybe for YOU it is but For me? No. Prepare to die! *shanks Flocculencio*

Flocculencio: fuck! even with my super-healing this still hurts

LD: *Focuses his energy then kicks Flocculencio* Good you heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeled

Flocculencio: OOF! NOY IN MY MANHOOD! ARGH

Kit: You americans fight dirty

LD: Yes. We win as a result

Kit; I prefer chivalry myself *dodges a shotgun blast* What's the price of victory if you lose your soul?

LD: Those who medidate in battle find out about afterlives... the ruthless win.... forever *grins and throws Flocculencio at Kit*

Fellatio Nelson: Disgusting.

CG: Bend over

Fellatio Nelson: Excuse me?

CG:  *now has a knife out* Bend over

Fellatio Nelson: Oh just gay sex? I thought you were going to mug me like some chAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHH! MY ASS

GB: You bastard I had dibs on him

CG: Get in life hurf de furg hlhlhlallhal

GB: Where'd the professor go?

*sound of a car driving by with several coolers tied to it*

PF: *is in the car* I'll deposit the liquor at Chateau Chucklehuck

LD: *is punching Floid* Ok.

Floid: Racism!

LD: Shut up *smashes Floid against a statue repeatedly*

Floid: OW1 the Ow! PAIN! OW! OW! spikes! ow! hate modern art ow

CG: He's every klansman's dream

LD: *is still smashing floid* What the FUCK are you going on about?

CG: He's re-usable for lynchings

Floid: That's offensive. I have a PHD in Ethnic studies and can go on for hours why

LD: ... *facepalm* Goomba

GB: Yo

LD: Punish him

GB: *takes out meathooks* Hehheh

Floid: ...that's not a good sign

*sound of flesh tearing*

Floid: AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHH *the meathooks are re-inserted*

Kit: I don't know anything about nigro medicine but if they're like Humans I'm pretty sure they need THAT to live

Fellatio Nelson: Quite

LD: We're not done with you two fuckers. *grins*

CG: Yeah *is swinging a string of sausages like a lariat*

LD: WTF?

CG: Wonder sausage powers activate!

*Cow Guy's "lariate" starts displaying homing abilities plus extreme durability*

Kit: What the?! the heat vision is just bouncing off of the sausages*

CG: TEATS

Flocculencio: That's impossible *tries grabbing the lariat and breaking it but to no avil* What is this?! I can lift multi-ton objects but I can't tear off a SAUSAGE?

CG: yup! TEATS

LD: That's some weak shit there

Kit: men, we must retreat

Fellatio Nelson: I'm down with that

Flocculencio: Flee!

Floid; I want out

LD: We win

Kit: Your evil triumphs this once but we will win next time

LD: Good heels because good is dumb. Also evil is sexier *flexes*

*the SHIELD heroes fly off*

LD: Anything else we need to do downtown today?

CG: Let's check the music store for anything interesting

FR: Aye. Ah have an order ah wish tae pick up...

GB: Sure!

LD: Sounds like a plan...

(inside the legion of superheroes HQ)

420 man: I have some grave news

The Vodka Vindicator: What?

Choklit Reign: Yes. Why'd you call us all here?

420 Man: Well Dr. M., it appears that the Imperial gang are back in action

Choklit Reign: What? for real? Da

The Vodka Vindicator: What do we do?

420 Man: We'll need to reassemble the team and start operating again

The Vodka Vindicator: So I should sell the condo down in Veracruz?

420 Man: Yes.

The Vodka Vindicator: Damnit. Just whne I finished the payments. But oh well...

Choklit Reign: Damn. At least I already live in the area.

420 Man: Good. This is a most unfortunate turn of events

The Vodka Vindicator: A couple years of peace blown to hell. Damn them.

420 Man: Don't worry Mateo, it's not as bad as you think. We still survived even in the worst days.

Choklit Reign: This is The Imperial Gang. Those cats don't believe in being chill.

420 Man: That's an understatement.

Choklit Reign: At least these new SHIELD people fought valiently so we're not the only supers around.

420 Man: Yes... but will that be enough

Voice: To be continued...

The vodka vindicator: Damnit! I thought we cleared out the Anonymii from this building when we came back today

Choklit Reign: Anonymii are crafty cats. You miss one and suddenly you have over 9000 of them.

420 Men: Legion of Superheroes assemble and ready for battle!