#11 Dynamica Metaversica Part II of IV

#11 Dynamica Metaversica Part II of IV

(in a room in a grim, spotlessly clean suburban house)

TV: ...due to new import restrictions, wal-mart is no longer able to stock chocolate or coffee and food prices are projected to rise by 25% by the end of the year.

Fergs: Ugh

Conrad: That's the price we must pay for moral purity, my friend. We have to keep out foreign contamination at all costs.

Fergs: Hm. But isn't this about goods from the british commonwealth and not the soviets? Aren't the soviets long gone?

Conrad: Don't beleive lies from the euros. The soviets are still there. *snaps fingers*

Bondman: Yes sir

Conrad: Bondsman Griffin fetch Fergs and I some orange juice

Bondman: Yes sir *walks off*

Fergs: Are you rich or something?

Conrad: Kind of. My parents were the lawyers who did the cases which imposed bondsman status on *looks in the direction of bondsman griffin* certain... residents of the United States. They made about $200 million in comissions or legal fees.

Fergs: Do you have anymore bondsmen/

Conrad: No. H. torrance Griffin is the only bondsman we keep full time as a retainer but in the summer we do rent some latino bondsmen from local labor contractors. Mexicanos are good at garden labor.

Fergs: Hm. What about the laziness that latinos are known for?

Conrad: Just report them to their labor contract manager and they fix that right up with the cattle prod.

Fergs: *sips orange juice* I see. So how does having a black bondsman as butler work out for you?

Conrad: Actually pretty good. Bondsman Griffin hasn't stolen anything which is surprising.

Fergs: maybe he's half white?

Conrad: Don't be silly fergs! That's illegal and besides is it even physically possible for Whites and Negroes to breed? It'd be like a man and a gorilla! think man think.

Fergs: What about whites and orientals?

Conrad: I don't know. That's still wrong and I hope it's not possible.

Fergs: hm

*suddenly the sky outside begins going violet*

Fergs: What's going on?

Conrad: I don't know. What is this madne-*suddenly a bright flash of thunder*

*PAFF*

(inside a large room inside a palace)

H.Torrance Griffin: *translated from very smooth english* What happened?

Guard: You! What are you doing in the Grand Governor's residence

H. Torrance Griffin: *very smooth english*

Guard: You're coming with us *handcuffs H. Torrance Griffin

(inside a town in an area which is a rocky grey wasteland)

Fergs: *translated from very smooth english* Ugh. Where are we?

Conrad: *translated from very smooth english* I don't know. Wasn't it night where we were?

Fergs: *translated from very smooth english* Where's Bondsman Griffin? He was with us a minute ago.

*a pair of sentries on horseback ride up*

Sentry #1: *translated from Lengese* What is this?

Sentry #2: *translated from Lengese* I do not know. We must bring them to the Imperial court

Sentry #1: *Translated from Lengese Why? I hought the penalty for foreigners was disembowelment while alive?

Sentry #2: *translated from lengese* the Emperor might be interested in ones such s these

Fergs: *translated from very smooth english* What are they saying?

Conrad: *translated from very smooth english* I-I don't know. It's like no language I've ever heard. Are they even human?

Fergs: I don't know. The grey skin, black hair and silver eyes make me confused

Sentry #2: *points sword at the two* !!!! Azo! *translated from lengese* Halt!

Conrad: *translated from very smooth english* Huh?

Ferg:S *translated from very smooth english* Conrad he has a sword

Sentry #1: *translated from lengese* You're coming with us

Fergs: *translated from very smooth english* What do you wa-*is hit over the head*

(inside the palace of Z'hadum)

*buzzing*

Emperor: Yes? What is it?

*buzzing continues*

Emperor: Slave Pat --What kind of name is "patrick or Blakelyl"-- go get it

Slave Pat: *does a bow* Yes your highness *walks out*

Emperor: What is it? It had better not be more peasants trying to escape from the True World to the land of devils.

Butler: Do you have anymore orders for me?

Emperor: No. You are dismissed for the day.

Butler: *does a bow* Thnk you sire *walks out*

*the two sentries walk in accompanied by Pat and dragging fergs and Conrad in chains*

Emperor: What is this? Foreigners?

Sentry #1: Yes sire.

Emperor: Interesting. Are they spies?

Sentry #1: Presumably so. The last time we had a large amount of foreigners in this country was 120 years ago during the demon invasion

Emperor: Weren't the demons yellow skinned and slant-eyed? These are pink-skinned.

Sentry #2: They are not lengese. The cuqestion is how do we kill them.

Emperor: Easy there. I have acquired two useful non-lengese servants. Slave Pat and the butler. Both of them are pink-skinned and we have not been invaded

Sentry #2: but sire...

Sentry #1: What is your ruling?

Emperor: Keep the two here... as slaves

Sentry #2: but foreigners?

Emperor: Yes. Old Emperor zhreel had his concubines which were stolen from demon lands. I'm going to have my slaves.

Sentry #2: Well in that case... the red haired one apparently ansers to being called "fergs" and the dark haired one "Conrad"

Emperor: Slave Conrad...

Conrad:zzzzz... *SMACK* *translated from very smooth english* Ow! I'm up!

Emperor: Slave Conrad you are now my property until the end of days. Your children will serve me and in deepest hell after both of us die, you will still serve me.

Sentry #2: *punches Fergs* I have gotten the slave up

Fergs: *translated from very smooth english* Ow! I'm up

Emperor: Slave Fergs, I know own you body and soul. For all time you and your line will serve me.

Fergs: *translated from very smooth english* What is thi-*is smacked*

Sentry #1: You will show the Emperor proper respect!

Conrad: *translaved from very smooth english* ...god help us all

Emperor: *to Cornad* Slave Conrad do you know what I had done to the concubines once I grew tired of them?

Conrad: huh? *SMACK* Ow!

Sentry #2: The Emperor is speaking! Pay attention

Conrad: *translaved from very smooth english* What's going on

Emperor: I had their internal organs removed and their skin taken while they were alive and conscious. It's amazing how much yellow demon females scream when their eyeballs are being taken out of them.

Conrad: ... *pukes*

Emperor: I return to my chambers now *walks out* Slave pat

Slave Pat: Yes sire?

Emperor: Show the new slaves around. you are now the boss of the slaves

Slave Pat: Shall I show them the slave pits?

Emperor: No. They are house slaves not pit animals.

Sentry #1: What about us?

Emperor: Consider yourself promtoed to palace guard

Sentry #1 and #2: Thank you sir!

(inside an interrogation room)

Officer: so have we found

Agent: No. He's babbling in a foreign language

H. Torrance Griffin: *vey smooth english*!!!

Officer: Wait.. I've heard that before

Agent: ?

Officer: Have an agent who speaks the language english like they do in New England or England or Canaa interrogate him

Agent: Will do, sir *takes out watch* gimme a phone *on the phone* dial Rodney Ironfist *on the phone* Look I know his is late but it's extremely important to come down to donovan house. You will? See you

Officer: Have you called someone who can?

Agent: Yes

H. Torrance Griffin: *very smooth english*

Agent: Sir, it appears the... visitor is getting agitated

Officer: Give him some CCs of dociline to calm him down.

(time passes)

Agent #2: So where is the.. unusual case you were talking about?

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from very smooth english* Who are you people?! Is this some kind of torture chamber!

Agent #2: *translated from very smooth english* No it's not

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from Very Smooth english* Where am I?

Agent #2: *translated from very smooth english* America. Now a better question is who are you and what were you doing in the Grand Governor's residence?

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from very smooth english* I don't know how I got here. One thing I know I'm in my and my name is H. torrance Griffin and my bondsman identification number is 33018-*is interrupte*

Agent #2: *translated from very smooth english* Thank you for your cooperation.

Officer: So has he said why he was there?

Agent #2: Kind of. He said that one second he was somplace else and the next he was`there he also said that he was a bondsman.

Officer: Interesting.

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from Very smooth english* What is going to happen to me now?

Agent #2: *translated from very smooth english* You're going to stay here in Donovan house for a few weeks while you leanr a ibt abotu yoru new place and we find a place for you to stay. You'll of course be taking the weeklong pill regiments of the linglossa, metaboline and solshield pills and getting head-jack so you can fit in. After that we'll let you go with about $50 million, citizenship documents and ownership of an apartment or other residence we find for you. --Good thing the NERCC, Military, Space and tech budgets are self-financing thanks to the constitution--

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from very smooth english* Do negroes have any rights here?

Agent #2: *translated from very smooth english* What are you talking about? Of course negroes haver equal rights. That's always been the case since even before the republic was founded

(inside one of the witness protection temproary dorms)

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from very smooth english* I can't believe this. Negroes having rights? A place calling itself America but is more different from the America I know than the soviet bloc is from thast America..

TV: ...rebels in Ilthmir protested against their queeen in Torcainth today and were gunned down. In more news Desmond S. Bullmoose is doing a press conference to talk about his pre-press conference press conference for his press conference for the movie "Adolf Nigger: the origin"

H. Torrance Griffin: *translated from very smooth english* I can't understand anything that's on the TV so I'm just going to go to sleep and see what happens in the morning