#??? A day in the life

[Abraham]

#??? A day in the life

(in the TV room)

JG: What the hell Lyndon?

LG: What?

JG: Why is there a bunch of plastic explosives in a box on the floor?

LG: I ordered them from a supply site since Lugia needed them for something.

JG: So you didn't make them.

LG: No. When I raised the notion he drove nails into me for some stupid reason

JG: It's because your explosives always fuck up

LG: Screw you!

JG: It's not my fault your explosives always explode 5 minutes before we need them.

FR: Ah jest won epically

JG: What now?

FR: Ah managed tae git th' judge tae acquit me

JG: How the hell did you manage *THAT*?

LG: Yeah. There were 40 witnesses who saw you do it

FR: Ah had a good lawyer

LG: Where'd you get the money for THAT?

FR: email fraud.

JG: What do you mean by email fraud?

FR: It's simple, laddie. All ah did was invent a fake charity devoted for "promoting traditional elvish culture" an' promote it among th' usual mailing lists.

JG: Wait... you mean the Greensong society isn't real?

FR: Nae. Anyone whou thinks its real is a stupid mother fo-*is throttled by Joe*

JG: Give me back my money! *strangles Frodo bart simpson style*

FR: Too late. ah paid th' lawyer already

JG: ...

LG: Hahaha

JG: Shut up

LG: You lose

(in Downtown Kansai City inside a slum)

Punk: Sweet we scored some nice shit

Punk #2: Damn yes

*knocking on the door*

Punk:" FUCK OFF WE DON'T WANT ANY ENCYCLOPEDIAS.

Punk #2: White Christ this is the fourth time this week

*the knocking turns into pounding*

Punk: Seeth is this a bill collecter looking for you?

Punk #2: No. I shot all my creditors.

*BOOM*

Punk: What the fuck?

EN:  y'know stealing from Imperitek isn't a good idea

Punk: Property is theft and theft is property so therefore it's mine no-*is shot in the knee* OW! FUCK! OW! FUUUUUUUUCK!

EN: Lugia would disagree with that

Punk #2: FUCk you! Fuck the establishment!

EN: You know what they call a Big mac in France?

Punk: ow ow.. my shattered kneecap... ow ow

Punk #2: No I don't and I don't care. Fuck of-*is shot in the balls* AWWWWWWWWWWWV SHIT

EN: Wrong answer. They call it a Royale with Cheese.

Punk: what... ow... ow is the point of that/

EN: I have no excuse.

Punk #2: You're warped.

EN: Want to see something cool?

Punk: No.

EN: *to some men in the distance* Release the Wolery. *back to talking to the punks* Since I shot out of both of you's kneecaps you can't run. Have fun "meeting" with the Wolery *walks out*

*sound of something large walking plus chains clinking*

Punk #2: What the hell?

Punk: I don't like the sound of this

(outside the slum apartment)

EN: Heh. Heh. *takes out watch* gimme a phone *on the phone* Dial Lugia Draconis

LD: *on the phone* How'd the hit go?

EN: *on the phone* Excellently.It went without any problems and I retrieved the parts

LD: *on the phone* Good.

EN: *is on the phone* So what now?

LD: *on the phone* That's all for now.

(in KHS)

Kaorin: ...so I'm not sure my relationship with him is working out. I'm also not sure if I'm even attracted to him or men at all.

ZD: Kill yourself

Kaorin: What?

ZD: My advice on what to do.

Kaorin: Oh Miss Sakaki she's sooo coool

ZD: God damn. Why don't you ask Straha?

Kaorin: He and Keira are trying to figure out a way to smoke weed in their sleep. Also I think he hates me.

ZD: Of course he hates you. Ok people raise your hands who thinks Kaorin is an annoying bitch?

*half the class raises their hands*

Yukari: *raises her hand*

Kaorin: ...

Yukari: What? Mr. Dark asked who hated you and I'm raising my hand

Kaorin: But you're the teacher

Yukari: Yeah. So what?

Sundas: Guys can you plz be nice to Kaorin?

Yukari: ... *facepalm* first time all yar she's said anything in class.

Sundas: Sorry for ignoring obviously wrong garbage a chink teacher would say. I prefer to get my education from Stormfront and other Islamist or White Nationalist sites.

TO: Wow... just wow

KI: ... *facepalm*

Yukari: WHAT did you just say *starts hitting Sundas with her briefcase*

Sundas: Ow! Ow! Wah! Ow!

(5 minutes later)

Sundas: ow.. ow... all that an' a detention later too. Betta hide the cellphone well

Yukari: I win forever... *to Straha and Keira* So guys any luck figuring out how to smoke weed in your sleep?

KI: Kind of

Yukari: ?

KI: Have the bonginator turned on in the room you're sleeping in

Yukari: Interesting.

KI: Yep

(some time later in the Xanatos Gambit bar)

FR: ...so that's why Ah've had a rough week. First th' CP station gits shut down then th' network feed addresses get scrambled again and Ah can't fnid any of mah good stations anymore

Bartender: Now that's a tough week. The guiness tonight is on the house *pours frodo a drink*

FR: Thank ye

Farva: Sup Niggaz. FXXXRVA, the original bastard is in the house

Bartender: Want the usual tonight, Farva?

Farva: Yes. And put extra peppers in it since I have a hangover.

Bartender: So wheres the slaves?

Farva: INS deported them after I reported them for trying to unionize. They're back somewhere in black africa now.

Bartender: Unfortunate *hands Farva his drink*

Farva: *swigs drink* Ah good. Is anyone using the slot machines?

FR: Nae. They're broken

Farva: Why?

Bartender: One of the Kappa Kappa Kappa brothers sodomized it

Farva: How is that possible?

Bartender: I don't know but they managed it

FR: Ah'm going to try that when it's fixed

Bartender: ... *facepalm*

FR: What?

Bartender: No. God don't any of you day crew people have jobs?

Farva: I'm loaded. I don't need one

FR: Ah work fer an evil overlord so mah hours are irregular

Bartender: ... *facepalm* if it wasn't for the fact that you people are the reason this bar makes alot of money in the day...

Farva: Bartender! Give me a screaming nigger

Bartender: What are you talking about Farva? Even for you that's an odd request

Farva: Some kahlua, some amarula and with some unflavored vodka. Also some tabasco sauce

Bartender: *facepalm* Ugh... well if tha'ts what you want *mixes the drink and passes it to Farva* Here

Farva: Thanks! *drinks it*

FR: Dae all yer drink recipes involve tabasco sauce?

Farva: Not all. Just about half.

Bartender: That's kind of disturbing

Farva: You want to see disturbing? *takes out a laptop* Le me show this website

Bartender: What is this websiOH dear jesus no more I can't take it. Make the hurting stop make it stop my mind. Excuse me, I'm going to go outback and drink until I'm in a stupor for the next 5 hours *walks out*

FR: What'd ye show him?

Farva: Tubgirl.

(in a ghetto some time later)

GI: Well well, trying to rob me

Gangsta: Look yo' crazy cracka bitch Ah'm takign yo' TV

GI: *grins* I am afraid that's not going to happen

Gangsta: Shaddap *attempts to hit Gwendolyn but is blocked* What the/ Damn yo' be strong

*Gwendolyn picks up a lead pipe and smashes in the gangsta's head with it*

GI: So. Anyone else want to play? *grins*

Mafioso: Mistress, we heard some clattering. Are you in trouble?

GI: Pay it no mind. It was merely vermin.

Mafioso: Alright mistress. Anymore orders?

GI: finish sweeping the crip HQ so we can loot their resources

Mafioso: *to other men in the distance* You heard the boss. Finish cleaning out this place.

GI: Good work.

Mafioso: But mistress why do you insist we grab the weapons?

GI: I have... plans. *flashes a smile*

(the scene shifts to show a VERY altered downtown Kansai City with a single large tower which has a red flag with a black dragon holding chains on it toweing over evrrytihng else)

*soldiers carrying high tech weapons and with the red and black armbands march*

GI: *is standing on a pile of the corpses of those who opposed her* AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

*tanks drive and honor guard soldiers carrying the banner march through the streets*

GI: I win. Forever. *smiles*

(back to the ghetto)

Mafioso: I understand mistress

GI: Good

Bum: Spare some change?

GI: *thinks* I can do one better than that

Bum: You'll give me booze money?

GI: Nah. *hands the bum about 3 pounds of heroin and a hypodermic needles* Use it all at once

Bum: Is doing that safe?

GI: I don't care. Inject all the heroin at once NOW

Bum: Well if you say so miss *connects the syringe to a tube connected to the heroin* Well here goes...

Mafioso: My god having him use 3 pounds of heroin? Do you know what that'd do to him?

GI: I know. He'll die.

Bum: Hoy miss I've injected it all and I feel tingly

Mafioso: errr...

Bum: Hey I see a bright li-*dies*

GI: Heh. Heh. *grins*  Nothing like seeing fools suffer to brighten up my day.