#15 Kit and Fell in Kansai City

[Abraham]

#15 Kit and Fell in Kansai City

(in KHS in a classroom a few days later)

Yukari: So how is everyone

ST: we're drunk as shit. what's for launch today?

Yukari: riiiiiiiiiight. I'm just going to presume you guys all had good weekends and leave it at that.

KU: Well Miss Yukari there was more or less some... drama involving my relatives so Keira-san opts to go hang out with Straha-san, the general-san stops by with some beers a few hours later, Raven-san brings in a massive amount of alcohol and... other drugs. That's the parts I rmemeber. I wasn't there the whole time

ST: I don't remember anything between thursday afternoon and answering Yukari's last question

KI: Me neither.

GP: I don't remember when the booze ran out

Raven: It didn't run out. it became monday morning. *facepalm* oh my head is killing me

GP: For once nobody got laid or did anything stupid.. wow

ED: playing old 1570s videogames is fun if you're both drunk and high

Yukari: Right. Moving on we have another transfer student --Sheesh I like having only 2/3 the number of students that the other classes do-- I would like you all to meet Ashley Miharu. She transffered here and used to lvie on the other side of the country until some recent unfortunate circumstrances

Ashley: *gives a nod* Hello.

Richie: Damnit! A goth!

Nick: You still won't get laid you fucking faggot

Richie: Screw you!

Nick: In the bathroom

Yukari: *to Ashley* Just find a seat -hopefully away from Schmitt and his frineds--

Ashley: All right

Yukari: Since I know for a fact that half the class spent the entire weekend inebriated and the other group with the rest being idiots who don't ever get it done I'm just going to give you all hundreds on the homework

KU: Yay!

Chiyo: But I did do it

Yukari: oops

(in the floating castle)

Flocculencio: Kit!

Kit: What is it?

Flocculencio: We're apparently floating over US airspace now

Kit: Yes? What?! Which city?

Flocculencio: Kansai City

Kit: ... *facepalm*

Flocculencio: Why the facepalm?

Kit: ...are we stuck hovering above the ghetto?

Flocculencio: Yes.

Fellatio Nelson: This is.. America

Flocculencio: We need a name for our group

Floid: FAGGOT

Kit: No. *facepalm* too wordy

Fellatio Nelson: KKK perhaps/

Kit: Can't think of anything good that'd be an acronym for that

Floid: err... SHIELD?`

Kit: That works!

Fellatio Nelson: Yeah. Good call.

Floid: What are we doing now?

Fellatio Nelson: I suggest we go collect some "donations" from a local bank then buy outfits

Kit: That's a good idea. Men prepare for battle

Flocculencio: But how?

Kit: Superpowers of course!

(outside of a bank some time later)

Kit: Got the money?

Flocculencio: Yes.

Fellatio Nelson: Good work men

Kit: Now let's go to the mall

Fellatio Nelson: I hope they have spandex

Floid: To the spandex!

(in the atrium)

LD: Fucking hell all the shows are being preempted for SHIT news reporting

TV: ...in other news several people dressed in butler uniforms robbed 5 local banks today. Police say that they like had 9 pounds of the primo shit down at the station and were too baked to handle it

LD: What the FUCK?

FR: What is this shite?

LD: I don't know. Let's go bomb our local news station!                             

(in a local news station's studio 15 minutes later)

Reporter: Now on to more local news. Today at 2 PM, a Christian suicide bomber attacked a bus station in downtown Kansai City.

"Hey you can't go there" "Hey what are you doing let go"

*sound of someone being thrown through a steel wall*

Reporter: ...There were no deaths from this incident although, two women lost a limb and one baby was permanently scarred. NERCC agents are doing an investigation in Christian neighborhoods to determine if the bomber was from an organized group.

*the door is broken through by Goomba*

Reporter: What's this? The tours can't go into a live news station whiel it's fil-*dodges a thrown garbage can*

GB: Squeal for me bitch

Reporter: What's going on?

GB: I said squeal bitch

Reporter: *thinks* oh I know! --Good thing I know the procedure for this-- *wheels out from below the desk,some giant sized hostess snacks* How about some hostess snacks?

LD: What the? Hostess snacks

CG: That rich creamy interior

FR: Ah'm so hard

GB: HOSTESS?!

*sound of multiple pairs of pants unzipping*

"hurf dedurf" "hlglalhlalhal"

Reporter: What in Odin's name?!

technician: Wow. That's a new meaning for "cream filling"

Reporter: Ugh. That's NEVER happened in any of the ads for Hostess I've seen... anyways let'sget out of here

(5 minutes later)

LD: *zips up pants* Where'd those faggots run off to?

GB: Wait the hallway door is open.. are you thinking what I'm thinking?

FR: Th' fockers went there

LD: Yes

(in the hallway)

Technician: Wow. Your knowledge of old comic references saved our asses from brutal gang rape

Reporter: *whew* All in a day's work

*the hallway door opens*

Reporter: uh oh...

GB: HEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY! *is holding something that looks like a cross between a chainsaw, a vibrator and the worst nightmares of steampunk fans*

Reporter: We are so screwed

(time passes)

Security Guard: Hey! That's a restricted hallway

LD: fuck off

Security Guard: Leave now

*A warning shot is fired in his direction*

Security Guard: *takes out a gun but it's shot out of his hands*

LD: Don't bother. Time to die. *takes out Katanas*

Security Guard: What the hell? What the he's a blur and I can't see him mo-*feels sharp pains* Ow that hurts

CG: *takes out popcorn* hmmmm popcorn.. TEATS

Security Guard: So what'd you do? All I felt was a little sharp pai-*reaches to adjust his cap, which causes his body which was cut perfectly into 90 pieces to fall apart*

LD: *grins* That. Everyone got your arson supplies?

CG: ORANGES

(outside the news station sometime later)

LD: God bless America. *is giving a nazi style salute in the direction of the now flaming newscorp skycraper*

CG: *is roasting a marshmallow on the flames* ORANGEs

GB: Hey did you bring enough marshmallows for everyone?

CG: No but I did bring cocktail weiners

GB: ...

*Goomba pours lighter fluid on Cow Guy and throws him into the flames*

CG: Oh shiAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

FR: Jaysus fock Goomba there's a focking 7-11 within 100 yards. 7-11 has marshmallows.

GB: oops?

LD: Next item on the agenda is how many people we can torch in the 10 minutes or so before the fire department gets here.

GB: Hey is that a NAMBLA pride parade?

LD: Yes

CG: *comes back to life* Torching pedos? Count me in!

*Cow Guy RAPIDLY rigs up a system for spouting large amounts of lighter fluid*

Marcher: We demand legal CP now

*splash*

Marcher: What'd just get poured on us?

LD: heh heh

Marcher: FUCK WE'RE ON FIRE!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

( in hell 5 minutes later)

Marcher: I don't know this place. Is this a pain club?

Satan: in a matter of speaking yes.

Marcher: what do you mean?

Satan: Diablo here will show you. I have business to conduct *vanishes through a puff of smoke*

Diablo: A pain club? Not quite. Buuut you're right on the pain part

Marcher: Hey you look like the host of Jeopardy!

Diablo: Puny mortal I am the host of Jeopardy

Marcher: Why don't you have horns when you're on TV?

Diablo: To ease suspicion. Now given your crimes you get to go in the special pedo part of hell.

Marcher: What's that?

Diablo: Brutal rape. With drills. For all eternity... well until Satan gives you another punishment.

Marcher: err.. can I pick another punishment?

Diablo: No.

Marcher: ...shit.